Things have been hard lately, they really have. But in subtle ways. I'll backtrack a bit. Growing up, I was the oldest sibling. I had two younger sisters. We were The Three. We loved, we fought, we laughed, we cried. We stuck together, we teased each other, we had good times and bad. But in the end, folks always made up. There was me, the quiet, calm, reserved shoulder to lean upon. There was the youngest, the stubborn, fiery, loving gal, and then the middle one, the creative, stubborn, selfish but wise one.
You think to yourself, wow. We're like the Three Amigos. It's always going to be that way! Even if some of us move away... we will still have each other no matter what.
But reality eventually comes crashing in in terrible ways. Two years ago, our middle sister found her online boyfriend. I was happy for her, you know? From time to time they visited, they spoke often, played WoW together. Us sisters still went out when we could, we talked, we visited with one anotehr and protected our backs at work. We even worked at the same place.
One day, middle sibling decides that she wants to visit her boyfriend on the other coast. Of course, we're supportive. She packs, he acts stand-offish and cold but I did not think anything of it at the time. I did not think anything of it the two were in a rush. They would not even wait the hour to have lunch with everyone before leaving either. They just left.
Come to find out, she left with every intention of never coming back. Things started showing up online. She was saying nasty hurtful things about my mom. Saying mom abused her, mistreated her. None of this is true, I was beside her the whole 25 years of her life. Sure, she and mom had arguments, but who doesn't with their mom? I knew she was stirring up drama. Every family has a drama queen right?
But, that does not give her the right to call our mom a bad mother. The one who raised her, who stood up for her, who is still paying off a college loan for a degree she never finished. She has the audacity to spread everywhere she goes that mom is being wicked, mean, vile. She left her things, we know on purpose, and accuses mom of being a thief?
She wrote to our grandmother, mom's MOM, such nasty and vile things that grandmother cried and deleted the note. She swore to grandma, the sweetest old lady one ever did meet. Every post she makes, you swear. She called our own mom a BITCH. She always say such hateful, unsure things because she has people there going aaaw, poor baby. She adopted his mom as your own.
She even gave up your name, leaving behind the name she used all your life for another. She wants that bad to be rid of us. But every now and then she writes, asking about her stuff. Conversation starts normal, but always ends like that. Always. I don;t want to burn the bridges, I want to reconcile. But every time she hears the truth, every time we tell her what she does not want to hear, she rants, swears, raves, or logs off in an immature two year old huff.
I find myself so pissed at her.
I find myself confused.
It is a horrible realization. After spending twenty five years with someone, from changing their diapers, to playing dolls with them, to watching saturday morning cartoons... you think you know a person.
...But you really don't know them at all.
And frankly, in the end... you're not sure you want to know them either.