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21 September 2011 @ 03:47 am
It's Stephen King's birthday! Who is your favorite character from one of his books?

Oh that's an easy one. Roland Deschain from The Gunslinger. Hands down. Shame on you if you have never read it. Shaaaame.
01 November 2010 @ 04:48 am
Huh... that was what had to be the most informative night of my online life.

Like seriously.

But in a good way. X3

But this person has my thanks too. Vague is vague on purpose. Yeeep.

* * * * * *

The world keeps spinning and I am still here. But hey, here is not a bad place to be. Even should I sink to the dark places, my family is always there to lift me back up. Although the past year has been an extremely hard one, we cope together. Although sometimes I wonder about myself, they always are there to hold me together.

From Mom who sends me cute little kitties on zoo world and always has a story, or to baby sis who always has my back, thanks.

To the folks I wish I could see more of but have listened to me rant in the past, thanks. Message me sometime eh?

To my friends who help the muses keep under control and listen even at the worst of times, thanks.

And finally to the one who made me realize nothing lasts forever, caution is a good thing, and that sometimes not everything ends well, thanks.

Its not thanksgiving, but sometimes I just feel the need to ramble. I find myself pensive at this odd hour, oddly so. But it is not a bad thing.
19 September 2010 @ 04:57 pm
Cut for likely wordinessCollapse )
13 September 2010 @ 04:50 pm
Been forever since I have used this thing eh? So here I am, trudging through life as usual. Im on vacation for the next two weeks though, which is awesome. This weekend the baby sis and I are going to Mrytle Beach to spend some time. WOOHOO!

Its gonna likely be expensive but itll be fun and worth it I think.

Margaritaville anyone?

Friday I will drive us there, and once we are there we will settle in and head to the actual beach itself. Saturday we will go to Broadway at the Beach which has Hard Rock Cafe, the outdoor shops, and Ripley's Aquarium. Sunday is the day to head back but likely make some stops along the way just because we can. Im looking forward to it!

* * * * *

I find it odd how my mom always relies on me to scan pics of folks I have never met nor even heard of. But one I had the chance to scan today was of my grandma's mom. A full-blooded Crow Native American, shes always a figure Ive been curious about. Grandma looks a lot like her actually. But it is rumored that it is from her the 'stranger' aspects of my family come in from. But thats anotehr story.

Anyways, Ive always been curious. I wonder if its presumptious of me to claim Native American as a part of my makeup, since its only 1/8th? Ah well, anyways, a pic of hers behind the cut for the curious out there.

Grandmas momCollapse )
26 May 2010 @ 04:25 am
Seriously, I blame my dad for this but I have an epic wanting for more metal music. Listening to the soundtrack for Brutal Legend, I have discovered and rediscovered quite a few folks.

Judas Priest: Okay, seriously. How could I have never heard this stuff before. These guys have some epic tracks. I really should just buy their essentials cd now.

Ozzy Osbourne: Again, I found new tracks I did not know about. I had heard Mr. Crowley but tracks like Believer and Diary of a Madman? Those two were new and EPIC. Also I had no idea about the two versions of CD's out now. I should hunt down the old ones.

Riot: Road Racin' and Swords and Tequila? Cool.

Def Leppard: ROCK ON.

Iced Earth: Man oh man, this stuff makes my muses OH SO HAPPY.

Omen: The Axeman is epic.

Did I miss anything here? Likely, yes. Yes I did. But finding new genres of music makes me incredibly happy. You should have seen me when I discovered electronica and game music are considered genres. *laughs* And now I go hunting for an appropriate icon...
16 May 2010 @ 03:44 pm

So those who have seen me before know my mom and my middle sister are on bad terms. After sib left without any warning to go live with her online BF half the continent away, mom took it as being blindsided. Didn't help nthat sib said a lot of nasty things online.

Anyways, that is a whole other story. I am the last one left talking to her, she is still blood after all. I have come to realize I do not LIKE her, but she is still my sister. Blood is blood. Enter a whole new drama.

Mom realizes she is still on my sib's bank account, which sib never bothered to close. She tells sib she intends to close it, since if anything goes wrong then shes just as much at fault which would not be fair. I agree personally. Or... let me rephrase that.

She tells me to tell her since shes still not speaking to her. JOY. So I do. She brushes the warning off. I tell her again a few days ago. Once more she brushes it off. So, Mom goes and closes it. Id have done the same I suppose.

Cue the following convo:

* * * * *

GH: Tried to call ya back but uhm, no response. That was your phone right? Anyways, the money order with what was left in your account has already been mailed. I did warn ya SEVERAL times. > >;
T: You did not! I didn't get a damned thing from yout! WHAT THE FUCK!?
GH: I told ya she went and they said she had the legal right to. ><;
GH: I told you two weeks ago and again two days ago.
GH: So you had a LOT of warning, youchose not to believe me/her or ognore them, I dunno.
T: This was a serious WTF thing for her to do. I am doing the best I can. I already said I would close the account. I want my money, and I want it now. What is the number for the money order, and how was it mailed?
GH: I dunno that, I do know it should arrive around Tuesday or wednesday since it HAS been mailed. Two weeks was more than enough notice sib, you know this. And you also know it wasnt fair for her to keep her name on the account either. The bank even said the same, and you know how they likely would hate closing an account! It was something long planned, not an out of the blue WTF moment. You had warning. *sighs* On a random note, they say your savings account still had 10 in it if you T: Well, let me tell you something sibling. If that money isn't in my hands by tuesday, there will be repercussions. I want what is rightfully mine, earned by me. Not only that, mom DID NOT close the account, nor can she close the account. It's damn well going to be closed now, along with any all ties I have to her, but I'm done. I mean that sibling. I just want what I have earned.

* * * * * * * * * ** **

Am I seeing this wrong? It seems like she is throwing a fit yet again, I dunno.

...Ever want to just give up on people?

I hate being in the middle.

I hate seeing mom and sib fight. Even if its not visible.

I hate the growing rifts.

I guess, most of all, I hate seeing the family divided like this over MONEY. *Kicks money hard* Of all the stupid... it makes no sense to me. It really doesn't. *sighs*
16 May 2010 @ 03:42 pm
Mmmm... one good thing has come in my life recently. It may seem silly, but its name is metal. Not the lame stuff either. Playing Brutal Legend it is sheer amazing the songs this game holds. The game itself may piss me off with its RTS segments, but the music.

Seriously, I am still sorting through the soundtrack and finding new hidden gems all of the time.

Of course, this inspires more muses but hey, I'll deal.

Its a small price to pay for music like this. *nods* Shame I dont have a METAL icon. I need an Eddie Riggs icon now dammit.
01 April 2010 @ 02:52 am
Things have been hard lately, they really have. But in subtle ways. I'll backtrack a bit. Growing up, I was the oldest sibling. I had two younger sisters. We were The Three. We loved, we fought, we laughed, we cried. We stuck together, we teased each other, we had good times and bad. But in the end, folks always made up. There was me, the quiet, calm, reserved shoulder to lean upon. There was the youngest, the stubborn, fiery, loving gal, and then the middle one, the creative, stubborn, selfish but wise one.

You think to yourself, wow. We're like the Three Amigos. It's always going to be that way! Even if some of us move away... we will still have each other no matter what.

But reality eventually comes crashing in in terrible ways. Two years ago, our middle sister found her online boyfriend. I was happy for her, you know? From time to time they visited, they spoke often, played WoW together. Us sisters still went out when we could, we talked, we visited with one anotehr and protected our backs at work. We even worked at the same place.

One day, middle sibling decides that she wants to visit her boyfriend on the other coast. Of course, we're supportive. She packs, he acts stand-offish and cold but I did not think anything of it at the time. I did not think anything of it the two were in a rush. They would not even wait the hour to have lunch with everyone before leaving either. They just left.

Come to find out, she left with every intention of never coming back. Things started showing up online. She was saying nasty hurtful things about my mom. Saying mom abused her, mistreated her. None of this is true, I was beside her the whole 25 years of her life. Sure, she and mom had arguments, but who doesn't with their mom? I knew she was stirring up drama. Every family has a drama queen right?

But, that does not give her the right to call our mom a bad mother. The one who raised her, who stood up for her, who is still paying off a college loan for a degree she never finished. She has the audacity to spread everywhere she goes that mom is being wicked, mean, vile. She left her things, we know on purpose, and accuses mom of being a thief?

She wrote to our grandmother, mom's MOM, such nasty and vile things that grandmother cried and deleted the note. She swore to grandma, the sweetest old lady one ever did meet. Every post she makes, you swear. She called our own mom a BITCH. She always say such hateful, unsure things because she has people there going aaaw, poor baby. She adopted his mom as your own.

She even gave up your name, leaving behind the name she used all your life for another. She wants that bad to be rid of us. But every now and then she writes, asking about her stuff. Conversation starts normal, but always ends like that. Always. I don;t want to burn the bridges, I want to reconcile. But every time she hears the truth, every time we tell her what she does not want to hear, she rants, swears, raves, or logs off in an immature two year old huff.

I find myself so pissed at her.

I find myself confused.

It is a horrible realization. After spending twenty five years with someone, from changing their diapers, to playing dolls with them, to watching saturday morning cartoons... you think you know a person.

...But you really don't know them at all.

And frankly, in the end... you're not sure you want to know them either.
11 March 2010 @ 10:52 pm

Yes, yes, shameless advertising ahoy! Why? Well, Im not sure how many folks about here can dig an adoptable petsite but this one is awesome. Seriously, I think folks would enjoy it quite a bit. Specially pokenerds. > >;

Okay, Im done being silly. But seriously=folks, swing by. Id be glad to answer any questions ya might have there!
07 March 2010 @ 04:32 am
Hmmm... its harder and harder to remain Switzerland as they say.

Honestly, the situation seems to deteriorate every time anyone talks to the sibling. Sib's always liked to stir and create drama. She knows that, I know that, we all do. But when it is drama that threatens your very ties to who brought you into this world, I cannot help but wonder... why? Why create that which should never even be there to start?

I remember quite clearly her telling me which books to leave out and send.

One cannot reasonably expect an entire room of things to be set into storage. Its too expensive considering the folks are still paying on a college loan for a program that remained half done. I mean, let's be practical. It was mentioned, told to a co-worker of mine, she left with the intention of never coming back. As hurtful as that is, it's becoming increasingly obvious. How... practical is it to expect us to keep stuff it might take years to come back for?

*Sighs* Not only this, but she tried to pit Grandma and Mom against one another? Call Mom a liar? Mom has many... eccentric traits but liar s not one of them. I think sib sent the emails to the wrong address. Mom has no reason to lie about these things, none I can tell whatsoever. Trying to control her from a distance? Right? *sighs* Grow some balls and take responsibility for what is done sib. Honestly, quit blaming mom for everything that has ever happened wrong. I will admit some hurtful things were said, but any family has these things, these moments.

Your life is not one big pity party. You make it sound lie she abused you, used you, and threw your stuff out the first chance she got. You want attention, well ya got it. I'm writing this now because honestly, the more I think upon things, the more pissed I get.

Whatever you have told them, it is clear you have told it far out of proportions. Fine, any story does get told as such I suppose. But when you have otehrs thinking Mom is a lying, vindictive, sneaky witch woman you should press charges against? That's too damned far. Too gods be damned far.

You have to learn that pit is not the same as real attention. You have people who love and care for you here, and I understand you have gone to create a new life. But why do you feel the need to burn your bridges in front of the whole world I wonder? Why go through such lengths? Why accuse mom of lying to everyone?

Over... things? Really? I realize dragons are possessive but take a step back.

Ask yourself, what is really important.

It is not about, after all, choosing him over us. Far from it. But I think, along the way, you have forgotten what is important.

Sitting in the remnants of our room right now, as a small box. You know what is in it. That box alone stands testament to this fact.

In the words of The Gunslinger: "You have forgotten the face of your father."

Or in this case, perhaps, your mother.

The lines remain open, be it phone, livejournal, facebook, or email. If you want to run away from the situation, cut off ties, and never address it, that is your decision. I remain pissed, but I am still your oldest sibling. I will still listen.